Adora's Dream world: "Nude on a boat trip"

What's with all those dreams?!
And those darn evil dreamgirls!

Last night I dreamt there was some kind of alternative wedding going on in town and I went to this huge boat ride with lots of others. Ended up at some island looking bit like Pirates of the Caribbean where there was some kind of competition.
When I was on the boat trip back I was nude all of a sudden!

Arrived at the harbour and was about to walk the 30 meters up to our last house. I felt it was bit embarrassing to walk nude since I gained a few kilos over the summer.
In front of me walked another nude girl, also from the boat trip. I asked her if we could walk together to make it less embarrassing.
And she's like: -Don't think so! and walked away!!!


What the hell?! What's with everyone being a bitch to me in my dreams?
Wednesday it was my sister being a bitch in my dream ;(

Okay, so, when I reached our house there was another kind of stairs, like a climbing wall on the outside and very unstabile. For some reason I couldn't use my hands either.
I climbed the "stairs", nude, and tried to figure out how to open the door since I had to balance both feets and couldn't use my hands.
I whistled, tried to make noice and shouted. Finally my husband opened the door and said: -Why are you naked? And I said I have no idea since the clothes just disappeared during the boat trip and that it was a dream and things just happens like that in dreams. HAhaha!! :)


Then there was this jump to a new dream where my breasts had been blown up somehow.
They had been blown up so much there was now a uni-breast! 

Uni-boobs (symmastia)

And it felt like a soft dough and started to rip open. I tried to make it into 2 breasts pressing the side of my hand between them, but then they just moved up to my throat. It was like a baloon in there!
I woke up in shock! Phu, still two separate breasts...

Goth bitten by a spider

Other contries has got bit bigger and bit more dangerous spiders than the whimpish Swedish spiders, so if you say in any other contry than Sweden you got bitten by one people might actually belive you!
But if you live in Sweden and say something like that the nuthouse is your next resort.

Thing is:
as a child I got bitten by a Swedish spider...


After being laughed at several times and almost had my forhead stamped with mythomaniac I decided never to tell anyone about this again (here's a safe place, right?).

Then, at the darling age of 16, I met this devastating pretty boy (who later morphed into my husband), and after a few months I decided to let him know my inner secrets.
Took a deep breath, told him I had something to share that he might not belive.
I told him about the spider who bit me.

I was getting ready to have a big laugh thrown at me and that he would end this wonderful romance saying he can't be in love with a crazy woman...

Button from Hardcore Couture

I saw his eyes changed.

He stared at my face.

His lips were slowly separated.

He took a deep breath.

Then he said: 

"-You too! Noone has ever belived me when I told them I got bitten by a spider! Finally someone who belives me!!!!"

And there you have it - if that's not a soulmate criteria I don't know what is!

From that day forward we both know we were for ever :)

And how were we bitten?

• Me: I was about 8, sitting in the backseat of the car. All of a sudden something tickled me in the neck so I curved my neck to make it go away. Then I felt a sting, like someone poked me with a needle.
  I whiped the place with my hand and down rolled a small, black ball. Not bigger than 3-4 mm.
  I remember being so surprised and kept looking at it to figure out if it was a pebble of somekind.
  Then it opened up - and it was a small spider!!!
  (I'm not more scared of spiders than other bugs after that encounter)

• My love: He had a big pool in his yard. He was 10 as it happened.
  One day he saw a poor spider fighting to survive as it was in the water. Since he is such a kind spirit he scooped his hand and lifted the spider.
  As the water ran away the spider landed on his naked palm and as a "thank you" it bit the knight in shining armour!!! What a bitch!

How we celebrate Swedish Midsummer

Christmas and Midsummer are the biggest holiday celebrations in Sweden.
This German commercial by IKEA was banned because it was supposedly offencive? No Swedes I've ever talked to think so -this IS how it's done! I can totally relate to it - I've been to Midsummer fests like this!

This Midsummer we watched it again, and the only things we didn't agree on in the commercial is the fighting and the tossing of the food. We should never do that - waste food like that?! 
Everything else just made us nod our heads and send around the bottle marked with an X one more time ;)
Why should we feel offended by the truth? Truth is - we are not. Stupid person who banned this.
See how happy we are celebrating!

 

Using alcoholics to teach the kids math. Part 2

My post about teaching the kids mathemathics using the local alcoholics made some readers a bit sad and disappointed. 
The other day I found this post on another blog:
 From Annieellen, a girl with an alcoholic dad:

The first rows are in Swedish and says:

"Today I was reading one of my favorite blogs, Adora BatBrat and was confronted by a history I just NEEDS to ask you -what do you think about this..?"

Translation of the Swedish at the end:
"Okay, I might be odd. Perhaps a bit sensitive, when it comes to this subject. But I DON'T find this funny at all. But of course I know she doesn't mean any harm by it...BUT it is still NOT funny. The end."

I send her this message (translation at the end):

"Hej, Annieellen
Jag är uppriktigt ledsen om det jag skrev gjorde att Du kände Dig illa berörd, men jag menade verkligen inget illa i det jag skrev.
Jag skrev inget illa om alkoholister, utan emfas låg i att nyttja matematik i vardagen. Hade det varit tanter, eller hip-hoppare som suttit där hade jag använt dem istället.

Jag talade ofta med alkoholisterna i min stad när jag jobbade som trädgårdsmästare, och känner väl till de olika bakgrunder - vilket även är något mina barn känner till. Få barn kan nog förklara varför en person är alkoholiserad som mina.
Respekt och humor KAN gå hand i hand :)

Love,
A "

 "Hi, Annieellen

I'm truely sorry if what I wrote made you feel concerned, but I did not have any intentions to make people feel bad about what I wrote.

I didn't write anything mean about alcoholics, but emphasis was on how to use mathematics in your dayly life. If there had been old ladies or hip-hoppers sitting there I would have used them instead.

I often talked to the alcoholics when I worked as a garden architect, and know their different storys well - something my kids also knows. Not many kids today can explain why a person is an alcoholic as narrating as mine can.

Respect and humor CAN go hand in hand :)

Love,

A"

I'd like to point out that I wrote NOTHING mean about alcoholics in my first post, or said anything mean while I spoke to my kids. I just asked them if they could count the alcoholics sitting on benches. 
And they could!


I didn't laugh AT the alcoholics, but I admit I laughed at the kids cuteness as I told my husband about it later.
You have to admit hearing a child say "-It's one alcoholic on one bench..." and so on, is "cute-funny". Even if they had said "-It's one hip-hopper on one bench...." it still sounds funny!

For those who's not familiar with the term alcoholic, and think an alcoholic and someone who drinks at a few parties every year is the same thing, here is a link explaining the whole thing. 
I'm not saying you are stupid because you are not familiar with the term.

And perhaps people in other contries aren't familiar with how it is in Sweden (didn't think of that), but here every town's got their own local alcoholics hanging out in public places; like the park at the playground, outside the supermarket and on sunny benches in the town center. They also often talks to by-passers, as kids.

So, you see, kids in Sweden are TOO familiar with alcoholics as a regular part of their daily life and therefor you need to explain to them what an alcoholic is when they ask why those men (often) smells like pee, walks strange and talks spluttering. Sad, but true.
Most local alcoholics are quite calm and do no harm, but many are intrusive and scare the kids with their way.
Alcoholism is classified as a disease, but to kids they are just scary and smells.

Adora 20:00

Driving our SAAB 95 aero sport combi home.
Such a sweet ride!

The kids have been so sweet and lovely all day long. We made sure to tell them how much we appreciated the day with them. And that they gave us such a wonderful National day <3
Thanks, kids!
And according to them we got highest grades as well.

Adora 18:00

The classic soft ice cream at IKEA before leaving Kalmar.

Adora 17:30

Having ecological crepes with spinach and a salad at IKEA.

Adora 16:00

Singing the national anthem.
Walking behind the flag bearers to the BIG church.


I waved to all the people that came to celebrate me, Sweden's Goth Princess.

Then I went into the church and said "hi" to Jesus, and wished him a nice day.

Adora 15:00

At the Kalmar Castle.



We found a shop where you could buy princess crowns like the ones used in the 12th century. Of course I bought one to my collection! Costly, though...
Can't wait to wear it!

Adorable 14:30

At the Kalmar Castle graveyard.

Adora 13:00

She is in a car on her way to celebrate Sweden's National Day.

Adora today

Out on town, shopping with DracuLaura today.




I bought these lovely minty lace shorts for the girls.

Now I'm at our friends house, cuddling their baby rabbits. They are so cute!
It's 7 babies, so hopefully they won't miss the one I accidentally had to eat... *burp*

Healthy, skinny body 2: My body

This might come off as bragging - but is far from.
It is more of an insight on how ridiculous one can be.

I'm 39! Took me some years to appreciate current status on my body and say -Hey - it's totally okay!

And to think I spent my teens thinking it looked horrendous!
The hip bone poking out, my ribs showing, my flat butt and my crooked legs as well as my height made me feel like an alien.
Today I would have been so happy to have that body. Stupid teen me!

Being naturally skinny is never beautiful according to society and people LOVE to make you feel bad because you have that body type. And the fact I don't work out and also eat (what I consider) "right" (Montignac Method) is even more tantalizing apparently.

I once read a funny comic:

2 fat ladies were sitting by the pool as a skinny bitch was climbing out of it.

Fat lady 1:-Being that skinny is SO ugly!

Fat lady 2: Yeah, I agree. I wish I was that ugly...

I think that summens it up ;)

I like to be positive so I've decided to think like this:
"I will love the body I have right now, because in a year it will look worse!" and that, my friends, is a true quote by Adora BatBrat!

So, take a good look in the mirror tonight and tell your body it's the most beautiful you have ever seen! <3

If you won't mind me saying:
Whoa! Your body looks great!

Using alcoholics to teach the kids math

I like to imply math for the kids using our environment.
Yesterday we went by the place where our local drunks hangs out.

I asked: How many alcoholics are on every bench?
They answered unanimously: 1 on the first bench, then 3 on the next one, and one on the last.
Good, I said (since I've heard you should always give credits to kids).

How many alcoholics are there in total, and on how many benches?
- 5 alcoholics on 3 benches, they said.
Mummy Adora BatBrat could not be prouder of her little geniuses.

You should totally try this at home! I just couldn't stop laughing when I told my loved husband.
He thought it was cruel. Obviously he's got no sense of humor!