Thursday, January 27, 2011

Me answering a question

I got this in a message and decided to answer it where everyone can see:

"I was reading your blog post about the "little make up and shabby outfit"... and I have to ask you (though I know I'd be the 1000th one): do you put on make up and style your hair and wear fancy dresses every day? Even to stay in home? I mean, what time do you wake up? Right now I'm wearing a sweater and a pair of jeans... I'd like to look at my best everyday, but aside my laziness, I don't feel comfy all day long staying at home in leggins and tight shirts... not to mention wearing shoes at home! is this something you can get used to? Can I train myself feeling at my ease without baggy clothes? Or is this some kind of swedish superpower?"

The answer is - yes! I do dress up every day and wears heavy make up. 
Not festival-dressed, but a bit more over dressed then the average person I guess (since I get asked this a lot). At festivals I'm half nude, and that is not something I wanna be going grocery shopping for broccoli ;)

It's hard to explain without sounding like a narcissist...
I think of it like: "I deserve this. I deserve to feel beautiful and to be the best me every day". Many people wonder why I'm so happy, and I am, and part of it I think is because I dress up every day. Who can not feel happy when dressed nicely?
And also I can't figure out why the most pretty clothes are only to be worn on special occations? I don't have that many special occations...

Sometimes my husband changes into a t-shirt when he gets home from work *sorry to out you, honey* and I give him hell every time. This is what he hears, the poor bastard: "-If you are gonna wear ugly clothes, wear them at work. I should be the one you dress up for, not your work!" I'm a bitch wife!

Also: when we met, my husband choose me because of the way I looked, and out of respect for him I do my make up every day, wears cute clothes and try to keep my hair okay. And therefor I demand the same respect from him. This sounds so horrible: but remember - we have been together for 22 years, so there must be something right by this? Or it might just be Swedish superpower.... (I loved that comment! Wihhhiiihhaha)

But the main reason is: If you look good, you feel good. You deserve to look fantastic every day!

(I do not wear my shoes inside my flat, I have pretty black slippers at home, but I wear shoes on the outfit pictures since I'm in the hallway of the house).
How I miss my blue hair seeing this


  1. I like at how you look at this. It's really a great attitude.

  2. Kudos to you Adora!
    I love that you dress nicely every day :)


  3. I wish I had the confidence to wear my 'me' clothes everyday! But, being the only goth in my high school doesn't make it easy ): I am still 'spooky-cute' though, but not as much as I'd like to. *sniff*
    You're a great rolemodel! Love from Denmark <3

  4. haha we have the similar attitude! though I not always dress up I always want to look pretty, and I know I deserve it :D I also like doing make up and my hair, so why not? :DDDD

  5. I disagree.
    Why shouldn't you wear comfortable clothes at home? Nobody sees you. Except for your family.

    When I visit my boyfriend for the weekend both of us are just wearing sweatpants and t-shirts.

    That's nice.

    Well the fact that you want to look nice for your boyfriend is a little bit... well of course you want to but that's no reason to wear uncomfortable clothes at home and to look for your make up all the time!
    But that you wear much make up to go out even if its only the grocery store that's okay, that's what I do sometimes.

    Of course my boyfriend chose me because of my appearance but not only! I'm putting make-up on und do my hair before the gets me to him. But when we arrive and stay at his flat I put it off.

    You have the right boyfriend/husband if you can look like shit and the even loves you and finds you beautiful like that!!

  6. You are Adorable and i feel the same way! its been helping in my weight loss too! Feeling good about yourself opens up a lot of doors.

    Thanks for posting such an honest blog. Get pretty for yourself.. then for your hubby. And burn his t-shirts.. make him wear vest suits.. Victorian goth! rawr haha.

    Have a Have a Gothy day, SuperSwed!

  7. I totally agree with you. When I look nice to myself I feel better about myself. It gives me confidence. I like to smile when I look in the mirror and me all gothalicious,decked out with make-up and glitz and glam makes me smile. There are those few days that I don't go all out with my make-up when I'm not going anywhere. I love how I look like that though so more often than not I'm all glitzed up. And to Anna, I get all gothed up with make-up and everything for high-school. I'm also the only actual goth at my school too. But back to what I was saying, I absolutely agree with Adora and I think it's awesome that you do what makes you happy and look the way you want everyday. I think more people should do that: look the way they want to. <3 <3

  8. I totally agree with you, Adora.
    Why not try to make the best out of yourself every day?
    Of course you should like yourself without make up and all dolled up as well, but why not have so much self-respect to improve what is already there and give yourself and those around you the best version of yourself?

    I feel most true to myself when I am all dolled up, that's how I see myself and how I want others to see me.

    I respect those who don't put much effort into their looks, personally I'd feel like I didn't care about myself though.

    As for the boyfriend thing, he loves me no matter how I look, but I think I owe him the prettiest me at all times, besides he loves when guys try to flirt with me (I work as a bartender in a goth club so that happens a lot) and they are being refused cause that pretty goth girl already belongs to him :) <3

    Stay as you are :)

  9. I have the same theory! Even if I'm just at home, I get done up in what makes me feel pretty that day (the only exception is working because I have to wear a uniform.)

    If you look good, you feel good. If you feel good, you want to spread that goodness to others and you do more good deeds. If only everybody thought this way!

  10. thank you so much for sharing your thinking. I believe there is real value and truth behind what ur saying and I wish more ppl would embrace dressing up everyday. I am similar to in that I don't have many special occasions, so why not wear something special everyday :)

  11. I dress up at home but I dress comfortably. There is no reason dressing up has to be uncomfortable, after all! :)

  12. Hi Adora - You make a really good point. Being true to who we are, and letting ourselves express this on a daily basis makes a huge difference in our lives. I am working as a teacher (super fun) BUT I die a little bit every morning when I put on my conservative teacher clothes! I have to - we have a strict dress code. I've realized that I am going to have to work in alternative circles bc in the end, I feel like I'm giving up too much by not wearing what I want to wear. All of my friends and family are saying that I'm nuts, but in the end, I think I'm right about it. I'm going to leave within the year, as soon as I can. :)

  13. "if you look good, you feel good" i absolutely agree with you, Adora! Why not dress up for yourself and your boyfriend/husband. He deserves to see you beautiful, not in a shabby worn out clothes that people usually wear at home. And why many ppl think that goth clothes, leggins and blouses are uncomfortable? They are nice to wear.

  14. now i must agree with you here =)
    i also dress up as nice as i posably can every day for school. i have a bunch of clothes and i have to actually really try not to stand out and my everyday clothes my friends often borow and wear them to a party and would never wear them as i do :3 well at home i dont wear makeup becouse i have problems with my skin sadly =( but i wear like a cute skirt with a cute t-shitr or a cute dress :3

  15. that's a great attitude towards your life . congrats for being so joyful and positive ^^ (hug)

  16. I was the questioner... thank you so much, I knew you'd be so nice to answer!!! Once more, thank you for being so you!

  17. Adora, you made me cry. That was something that truly touched my heart deep down.

    "I deserve this. I deserve to feel beautiful and to be the best me every day". Many people wonder why I'm so happy, and I am, and part of it I think is because I dress up every day. Who can not feel happy when dressed nicely?
    And also I can't figure out why the most pretty clothes are only to be worn on special occations? I don't have that many special occations..."

    Every girl out there should tape this to her mirror or wall or whatever because it is SO True. I will put it up today! I've been miserable for awhile now, not happy I have a lot of stressful things going on and therefor lazy to dress up these days at all and I know that dressing up makes my day when I know I look pretty as a strawberry cupcake I also feel better. I should take your words to heart and start being happy again or feel at least bit better about somethings about me and my life. Thank you Adora. You are the best!!

  18. You're completely right!
    Here in my country we say: "If I don't like myself, who'll do it?"
    No matter who or what occasion we dress up for, the most important is to feel good with ourselves!
    I love you and your blog, Adora!
    A biiig kiss from Brazil! ;*

  19. It's really nice that you have power and time to put sweet make-up and dress nicely everyday. I also would like to be as productive in these things as you are. I would like to put my makeup on every morning and pick some pretty clothes from my wardrobe but I am much at home alone at daytime so commonly it goes way I dress up and put makeup just before my husband goes back from work. Lazy me. This makes me discontent about myself, even if I am alone at home! So I think I should pay more attention on my looks everyday regardless am I going to somewhere or just staying at home and with someone or not. You revealed some good points - while dressed nicely, it also puts a smile on your face. I think this is a good idea for everyone.

    I also like to use the rare and uncommon "special occasion" clothes at home because I just don't have so much special occasions. I wonder how people find all those adorable clothes so uncomfortable, I have lots of comfortable and still tight clothes to wear at weekdays!

    I am a permissive spouse. My husband likes to use too big T-shirts at home and also some comfortable trousers (luckily black :), he wants to be that way at home and he is allowed to be if he wants. I have said him that I don't like too big T-shirts, I have bought him small shirts but there's many of those damn big shirts left. I think it would be nice if we both would dress for each other but comfort is the most important thing for the most men. I also think that it's tactless to whine to the spouse about how he dresses himself at weekdays. I only tend to dress myself nicely.

    The other point is that in good relationship, couple should love each other regardless what kind are the clothes and make-ups. My husband has said me that I don't have to wear makeup because of him - that's nice to hear but I want to wear makeup because of me. :)

  20. "Åh vad hon är vacker" säger mina döttrar på 6 och 4 år här bredvid :)

    Och jag håller med dem - verkligen supertjusig!

  21. My boyfriend (of 5 years) always apologizes to me at night when he changes into his sleep clothes and every night, I laugh about it. I just want him to be comfortable although I'm happy he dresses how he does the rest of the time because it is a style I like and am attracted to. He says he always feels under-dressed around me when we go out though. I'm inspired by what you said about deserving to look good and I want to dress up more, even if I'm not going out. Lately I'm home a lot so I'm in casual clothes a lot as well and it's making me less happy.
    Thank you for posting this!

  22. Really I love you for doing this everyday! I wish I was Swedish to have this superpower!!! XD

    And as for your hubby, it is very well said. For as long as we put on make up, dress up, make our hair, be carefull about our silouette and shave our legs and blah blah they are OBLIGED to do some push ups and crunches for us, as well as dress properly... (maybe I am a bitch girlfriend too hihihihi)